Quick Links to : 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 NOTE

Step 1:

1 master wall socket (you can get these from any dicksmith or warehouse or electrical store. They are the white boxes that you plug your phone into in the wall.
2 alligator clips (only small size, about the size clip as a paper clip. Not the big hoary ones!)
1 pocket knife
a phillips head and flat head screwdrivers
a phone
Once you have these things and you feel you can lose some sleep you can proceed to step two

Step 2. Outside everyone's house there is a grey dildo looking thing. These are termed jacks. This is what everyone's phone from their houses go into. This is what you will be working with.

Step 3. Once you have found someone you really hate and want to charge lots of phone calls to their phone account and break up marriages with the spouse getting suspicious of the phone sex calls appearing on the account, then lift off the top of the box. There may be a screw attaching it, that is where the screw driver comes in handy. Once you lift off the top you will see a mass of wires. To prevent disheartening, proceed to step 4

Step 4. Do not get daunted by the mass of wires. There are only two you have to single out. These are coloured black and yellow. They are easy to spot because they are coiled and are contained in a black pipe. With your pocket knife with a good plastic handle you have to strip the plastic coating from these two wires. If you can't be bothered then use the farmer joe way of biting the plastic off with your teeth. Beware of electric shockes though. It is only 52 volts though.

Step 5. Next you must connect the non-cliped end of the alligator clip to the white master box. It is best if you prepare this before you go out on your mission. If you remove the back you will see six slots. The middle slot of each bank is where you put the wire, connected to the clip, into. So as the wire stays in the slot, you can buy a crimping tool from where you bought the box, or you can do a farmer joe setup and push the wire in with the flat head screwdriver. You must push it in quite well.

Step 6. Next connect each of the alligator clips to each of the stripped wires. It doesn't matter which is which.

Step 7. Plug the phone in the master box. Then you should have a dial tone.

Step 8. When you have finished your dealings, just unclip the alligator clips from the wires and be a tidy kiwi, don't leave the screw lying around, screw it back in please.
NOTE: When you are making your contacts by phone in Timbucktoo, make sure you hide in a bush or something so as passing motorists don't feel they have a moral obligation to dob you in.
Also please use some common sense and don't use the same place twice and don't make a thousand dollars worth of calls in one night 'cause 1) It will be morning by then and 2) Police and them start to get involved and that's not nice!!